A. Introduction
1. In mid-2026, an 8-year journey with my client through legal proceedings came to a conclusion. To say it was a resounding victory is an understatement. A day we thought would never come, actually came. The result we were aiming for all these years was now beyond doubt. My client obtained full care and control of his son.
2. As a bonus, I earned the right to say, “I told you so!” to the District Judge whom the case was docketed to since 2018. But this journey was anything but easy. I wrote about part of this journey in “Between A Rock and A Hard Place”. In fact, this 2026 victory came at the back of the 1 and only total defeat for us.
B. The Losing Battle
3. Towards end-2025, we took an application to vary the shared care and control arrangement that had been in place since 2021 (and varied in 2022). As part of this application a Child Representative was appointed as a compromise, because the mother said that the private child psychologist that we proposed would be costly. I had worked with a Child Representative before, and I found the process to be engaging, thorough and fair. I expected no less in this instance.
4. However, for reasons best known to the Child Representative in this case, she refused to take direct calls with me to clarify certain points. I only sought to clarify a fundamental (and wrong) assumption of hers about who the antagonist really was. She assumed and confronted my client with the accusation that since the Ancillary Matters Hearing back in 2021, all applications were taken by my client. Factually, this could not have been the polar opposite of reality. Comparatively, the mother took 4 applications whereas my client took only 1. Another application was by consent.
5. Relying on the wrong fundamental assumption, the Child Representative wrote her report. Not surprisingly, the report was not in my client’s favour. We had 2 choices – either to: (a) accept the report, withdraw our application and come back at another time; or (b) face the uncomfortable situation of calling out the report and incurring the annoyance of the Judge. Most people would have been demoralized. But not me and my client. We decided to ask for permission to file a further Affidavit to address certain parts of the report. Our decision was grounded in principle – i.e. my client would fight for his son’s wishes, and we would show the other side that we would not back down even with the world against us.
6. It is worth noting that a Child Representative is a lawyer, and when an accusation is made against a lawyer, everything needs to be done above board. Generally, under the law, a lawyer [A] must not permit an allegation to be made against another lawyer [B] unless B is given the opportunity to respond and the response disclosed to the court. Of course, whether or not all lawyers observe this rule is a story for another time. In this case, I made it clear to the Court that my client intended to make allegations against the Child Representative in his reply Affidavit, so we would send a draft of the Affidavit to her for her response, and we would exhibit the Child Representative’s reply in our Affidavit.
7. Fast forward to the Hearing proper, and we knew that the odds were stacked against us. Yet, we prepared and put our best foot forward. While we were prepared for a lost, we were cautiously optimistic that the balance would tip in our favour. Alas, this was not to be and our application was dismissed. I did my usual debrief with my client during which we both agreed that several things out of our control affected the eventual outcome, that we had done all that we could and in fact went above and beyond to respond to unfavourable developments, which gave us a fighting chance. We said that we would be in touch.
8. For the first time in my career (to the best of my memory), I felt defeated – like my best just was not enough. I was brought back to 2001 when my rugby team lost in the semi-finals by 1 try. We kept pounding at our opponent’s defence but just could not get over the try line. That defeat stayed with me for a good 20+ years before I could come to terms with that defeat. I finally realized how much I had put into this battle for my client and his son.
C. Victory Revealed as the Fog of Battle Cleared
9. A few weeks later, I was ending a week-long holiday when my client sent me a message. He asked if we could speak the following week because he had an update that I would like.
10. During the call, my client updated me that the mother decided to concede full care and control to him. She had decided to leave Singapore permanently and return to her home country. Accordingly, she wanted to enter into an agreement with my client on arrangements for her to contact the son while she was away, and to visit him during school holidays. My client agreed, and I helped prepare the eventual agreement. Initially, I was skeptical, but D-Day came and went, and my client’s son is now living full time with him, no doubt thriving under my client’s care.
D. Reflecting on an 8-Year Journey
11. After 8 years of journeying with my client, I felt it appropriate to briefly pen some overall reflections to him in my final email update. One of the things I wrote was:
[quote]
“…After giving his decision in the AM Hearing in early-2021, I told [the Judge] (*to his annoyance) that I believed his approach was only going to prolong the mother’s reliance on your goodwill as a crutch. This would send the message that she did not have to take any initiative to get her own life in order. Long-term, she would struggle to find her footing in Singapore, which would not be good for [the Child]’s well-being. I guess now I can tell [the Judge], “…I told you so“. Unless [the Judge] then turns around and says, “…Aha! My strategy was to make [the Child]’s mother leave because I thought [the Child] would be better of with his father“.
[unquote]
12. My client’s response was also brief but powerful and extremely meaningful to me:
[quote]
As you can probably imagine, it has been a very difficult journey personally for me, with countless ups and downs. Your assistance along the way was instrumental to the case and the relationship between [the Child] and me. I still remember what we had to go through to bring [the Child] back to Singapore, secure him in Singapore, and step by step things ultimately turn to a much better situation today for [the Child] and frankly, for everyone.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for your professionalism and enthusiasm as a lawyer and a fighter. And I genuinely hope more people benefit from that. And wish all the best for you and your family!
[unquote]
13. Looking back, I am proud for always showing up, especially when the odds were stacked against us. I am also proud of my client for being willing to take a long-term view of his relationship with his son, and not to be deterred by the challenges in between. This journey has also cemented my perspective that sometimes, it is important to send the right message to the right person. I strongly believe that by deciding to press-on even though the report was not in our favour, we sent a clear message to the mother that we would not be deterred no matter what the odds against us were. Consequently, despite winning a battle, the mother decided to concede the war and hand victory to my client.
14. At JinHuang Legal LLC, we believe that a good outcome begins with good decisions, and our professional advice helps our clients make such good decisions. Where circumstances allow, amicable resolutions are ideal. However, when conditions become less than ideal, we believe that cool heads and steady hands, lead to positive outcomes while we advocate robustly for our client’s interests.
15. Need any assistance or have any questions on this topic? Get in touch with me on my direct line at +65 94763230 (call / What’s App / text) or e-mail me at lawyer@jinhuang.sg.